If I didn’t know that a heart pumped blood, what would I imagine to be a heartbeat?
Would I think it a drum, played by my soul,
Or a timer, ticking, counting down to my last breath?
Would I think it the footsteps of an angel, keeping pace with my life,
Or perhaps the clinking of gears that run my body, stuttering along until my death?
Would I think it the pounding of a demon, trying to free its sins from the cage of my flesh and bones,
Or the sound of the war that constantly ravages my mind?
Would I think it thunder that accompanies the storming of emotions that make my body their home,
Or the impatient tapping of a deity, displeased with my choices?
Would I think it the ancient language of all beings, its meanings obscure and lost in the world of technology,
Or the resolute beating of the wings of my spirit, driving me ever onwards?

Would I never know that it was so very important,
Or would I know instinctively, every time I gasped for breath and it responded, every time it clenched, every time it felt it would burst with emotion,

Would I treasure my heart the way I do now?


It’s been a while. I hope you are all doing well in this new year.


Everyone told him that studying would make him smarter. They said that it would help him understand concepts he could not yet grasp.

So he studied. He studied very hard.

He studied the twitching limbs and curling fingers. He studied the way the bodies curled inwards, away from the gleaming metal. He studied the way blood ran so similar to their tears.

He observed like in science class. He repeated his experiments, over and over. And when he still could not understand, he began to broaden his observations.

He started listening. To the screaming and the begging, the crying and the desperate pleas. But nothing, not a stir.

He watched as they slowly awoke, their looks running from confusion to horror at the sight of blood and rotting corpses – the failed experiments – that littered the room. Faces were, he realized, very strong indicators of emotions. They twisted and contorted in an acrobat of expression. But stronger still, he found, were the eyes. They showed their fear, their pain, and for some, in the end, their resignation. He kept those ones in a jar, but they had lost their emotions once he had removed them from the body. He could not understand why.

He also touched. Touched their shivering limbs, their quaking bodies, their warm blood, their cold corpses.  But it gave him none of the answers he sought. He learned only that they became quick to shy away from him when he approached, wriggling like bugs trapped in a spider’s web. Their chains would shake, clinking, but they were unable to flee as his hands drained them of their lives.

Finally he tasted. First their blood, for it was the same colour as his own, and he knew that all humans were made of the same materials. But it was metallic and nothing more. Then he tasted their tears, for they always cried when they felt strong emotions. They were salty, and it reminded him of the ocean’s devastation. But these people were small and weak and very soon they stopped crying and stopped moving at all.

A monster, they called him, but he could not understand. For he and they were all the same. Blood and limbs and beating hearts. So why did they spend their lives smiling and crying, while he wandered the days never needing to shift his expression and never able to create tears? It was something that puzzled him greatly.

He still, he figured, had much to learn. And studying, he hoped, would provide him with the answer.


Happy Halloween!

A Quick Sketch: Fox!

Been busy, as usual. Haven’t been writing as much as I was hoping I’d be able to. I do have a short horror flash that I’ll be posting before the end of the month, though. In time for Halloween!

In the meantime, here’s a quick sketch and painting I did. Sketch paper and watercolour. Around 10 minutes.

Christine Fichtner watercolour fox

Currently Writing To: Traces of You – Anoushka Shankar ft. Norah Jones

Another fantastic song by Anoushka Shankar and Norah Jones. They have such a wonderful connection despite their completely different styles. Being half-sisters undoubtedly helps, but they’re both so musically talented in their own respects, and create such beauty.

More uplifting than the other one I posted, it’s a wonderful way to start the day and settle down at my desk with tea and a fresh mind ready to write.

Rhythm of the Clock

We are painted by time. Our souls the brushes guided by the hours and days and years. Our wrinkles, our scars, strokes of paint the colour of life.

Art that lasts the fleeting forever of our lifetimes.

As we age, we lose our obsession with perfection, and allow time to paint its abstract beauty. For we all lie down to the rhythm of the clock.

Currently Writing To: Intuition – Feist

The rainy season has started. The weekend was gorgeous, though, which was a wonderful treat. Slowly getting back into the groove of things. My schedule is finally back to normal, but it’s taking a while to recover. But I’m getting there.

Perfect for the chilly rainy fall days and some hot tea and writing, this song lets you sit back and breathe deeply. Nod your head along. Tap your fingers. And enjoy the tapping of rain against the window.

Currently Writing To: Between the Bars (Cover by Ivanna Maria)

There’s something so resonating about it. Something that keeps me listening over and over again. Beautifully melancholic in the depths of her voice. The pure emotion in her voice touches the heart in such profound ways.

A duet accompanied only by a guitar. Voices lift the music along with the soul.

Currently Relaxing To: Green Island Serenade – Vienna Teng

Work continues to be insanely busy. Any spare time I have is spent trying to relax.

I’ve posted some of her music before, but here is another one that I love. Her voice is soothing and sweet and it’s so easy to get lost in her music. Her rendition of this classic Chinese song is wonderful.

Currently Writing To: Bach Cello Suites – Mischa Maisky

Mischa Maisky is one of my favourite cellists, and I absolutely adore his version of Bach’s Cello Suites. Definitely worth having a CD copy of it. You can find the full playlist on youtube, as well. An older recording, I believe, but a marvellous one. I love the deep, rich cello tones, and the feeling he puts into his music.

Also I promise to reply to your comments soon! I have been rather overwhelmed with work these days. My apologies!